Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
