I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
