Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My ass is underappreciated
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
