Fuck appropriateness.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
