I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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