I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
