his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It's never too late to be topless.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
