I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
