so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
