oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
