Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The best revenge is premature balding
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
