He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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