yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
