I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
