no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Moan for me like Helen Keller
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
