Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
