Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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