i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
