I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
