i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
