We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
