Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
