is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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