rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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