i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
