So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
