His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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