I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
