I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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