the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
What drink are we having for lunch?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
