Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
