it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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