You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just high enough for therapy.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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