Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
