Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
