we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
As shirtless as possible
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
