please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
