Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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