I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
