I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
