jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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