I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
