Duck Duck Cougar?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
