I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
