you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
