Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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