I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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