Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
