i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
