Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
